So, I posted a blog the other day about my Grandma Graham, and how, although she’s still alive, we’ve effectively lost her to Alzheimer’s. I wrote about how crushing that’s been for me and my family.
It’s made me think a lot about my family and close friends and how I don’t want to take those special relationships for granted. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who said her Mamacita (her grandma who has since passed away), gave her a sage piece of advice a long time ago. She told my friend that when something upsetting happens, ask yourself, “Will this matter in 10 years?”
My response was, “Hey, I always say that! I’ll ask myself, in six months, will this make a difference?” Sometimes the answer is, “Hell, yes!” But, more often, the answer is, “Nope.”
When you view problems through that prism, it brings into focus what’s important, what really matters and what is worth fighting for. Somebody dinged your car door in the parking lot, yeah, that’s frustrating, but, really, long-term, is it going to affect the quality of your life or your loved-ones? Absolutely not! So, why waste time on those emotions?
There are things I get plenty frustrated with, especially if they involve my girls! I want the best for them and I will always fight for them. That kind of stuff, I’ll go to the ends of the earth to make right, because, yeah, in six months or 10 years, that WILL matter to me, and it will matter to them!
So, a gentle suggestion to use the “Lorinda” or “Mamacita” yardstick in your life—when you’re faced with a maddening situation, ask yourself, “In X amount of time, will it matter?”
You’ll save yourself an inordinate amount of grief and, chances are, you’ll learn to separate the mountains from the molehills.
–Lorinda Van Newkirk